FFFADS

Narrator: Hello children, the times they are a changing. People no longer have to suffer personal anguish on their own as there are all sorts of magnificent support groups you can join to air and share your pain.

 

 

In a small room a group of animals are all seated in a semi circle  a rabbit that is stood in front of them.

 

Corey: (in a very soft cheery voice) hello everybody I’m Corey and I am to help all you brave souls who have come here to FFFADS, that’s Forest Friends Fighting Anger Depression and Sadness! Yay!

 

Now shall we start with a song?

 

Iiiiiiif you’re happy and you know it clap your hands…..

 

(Complete silence)

 

 

(Dejected) Ok maybe not

 

Right shall we start with the introductions from left to right just shout out and tell us all who you are and why you are here, come on now don’t be shy!

 

Gary Three Toes: (wearing a sticker with Sheldon written on it and then crossed out and Gary written below it)  Hi I’m Sheldon… I mean Gary and I’m just not comfortable in my own shell … I mean fur

 

Corey: And why do you think this is Gary?

 

Gary: I was born a Tortoise and didn’t fit in, now I’m a Sloth (starts to cry)  I have got patchy fur and I don’t fit in, I’m sorry it’s the hormones they are all over the place ….

 

(big heaving sobs)

 

I don’t know what I am!

 

 

Corey: You are Gary, that’s all that’s important your species doesn’t matter to us

 

Gary: (shouting and wailing) It matters to me! I wanted to be a tur … tle

 

Corey: Sorry what was that?

 

Gary: (still sobbing) A Turtle! But I left it too late and now I’m a rubbish slow monkey

 

(big sob)

 

 With a stupid face

 

 

Corey: hey! Come on now Sloths aren’t monkeys and you don’t have a stupid face at all, sloths are cool, you are cool! Look at you with your … ummm three toes!

 

Gary: I want to have …. Flippers

 

Corey: (getting nervous) Nobody really wants flippers, sure they are good in the water but look at how slow they are on land

 

Gary: (really upset) I’m so slow I go mouldy

 

Snappy: (further down the line) Listen kid, being a turtle aint all its cracked up to be, trust me, nobody wants to employ you, I ended up on a scheme and now I deliver the mail and I can’t even do that right (starts crying)

 

Corey: (distressed) now, now people lets try and calm down a bit we are here to talk

 

Calvin: Listen pal, don’t tell them to calm down or you’ll have me to answer to

 

Snappy: (sobbing) I want to be the milkman

 

Corey: (slowly sitting down on the floor) does anybody have a paper bag? I think I’m hyper ventilating

 

Calvin: Some use you are pal, youse need some sense knocking into you, you all do, all soft in the head like. I wanted to be a magpie when I grew up but I’m too small so I’m a coaltit but you don’t hear me moaning about it do ya?

 

Corey: (panicky) Its going dark … mother are you there?

 

Calvin: (close to tears) All I ever wanted was to be like me brothers ….

 

Gary: (still sobbing) I want my shell back

 

Calvin: (crying) One for …(sob) Sorrow,  Two for … (heaving sob) joy

 

 

Narrator: See children support groups are the way forward, they bring together like minded people and release all of their pent up emotions. Of course from time to time this can go horribly, horribly wrong and you end up with underground bare knuckle boxing clubs that become terrorist factions but we can’t have everything can we?

 

Until next time

 

Take Care You

 

Corey: You are not your shell, you are not your job, you are not your black and white plummage