Narrator: Its day six in the big burrow house and people are starting to get settled in. The role of head of house is still to be decided, friendships are being forged and battle lines are being drawn.
Big Burrow: (broad Geordie accent) Day six in the big burrow house, Simon, Monty, Frenchy and Hector are all in the garden talking about voles.
Simon: So yeah my cousin’s a vole like
Hector: Still sounds like a mouse if you ask me
Monty: Completely different thing mate, bit like calling you a Kangaroo
Frenchy: Yeah … (makes clicking noise) whats that flipper? A boy trapped in the mine?
Hector: (annoyed) Flipper was a dolphin
Simon: Na he wasn’t you’re thinking about Lassie man
Hector: Lassie was a dog!
Frenchy: You can’t go saying things about people like that man
Hector: I mean like a collie dog
Monty: You can’t say that any more its offensive; we just call them gollies nowadays and you don’t see them about anymore …
Hector: (angry) what is wrong with you people? Flipper was a Dolphin, Lassie was a dog and Skippy was the Kangaroo yes essentially they were all the same show, young child befriends animal, animal saves trapped human or stops smugglers… or whatever but the difference between them all is gigantic.
Simon: Alright calm down Skippy
Big Burrow: Meanwhile Wendy and Lord Dennis are in the living area talking about Simon and Frenchy
Dennis: I don’t get the attraction do you? Of course he may have some tree frog in him but it is quite bizarre don’t you think?
Wendy: Completely agree there but they are both so angry, of course its classic small man syndrome …
Dennis: Ooh good call Wendy my dear, both are so full of bluster and hot air trying to make themselves the big men and as for poor Montgomery the chap is so easily led, look at them all harassing our poor antipodean friend, I am a little surprised nobody has called him a Kangaroo yet
Wendy: Its early days yet, Dennis, early day yet
Big Burrow: In the Girls Bedroom Carole, Debbie and Helena are talking about Lord Dennis
Carole: well I think you would make a lovely couple
Debbie: yeah a lovely couple!
Helena: (blushing) Stop it! Think of the children watching!
Carole: Have you got any children?
Helena: None of my own, but I look at my pupils as my children so I have hundreds of them
Carole: Not the same tho is it?
Debbie: na not the same is it
Helena: (sadly) Well no I suppose its not really but this is the life I have chosen …
Carole: Are you married miss?
Helena: I have told you Carole, please I’m not a teacher in here just call me Helena
Carole: Are you married Helena?
Debbie: Yeah are you married miss?
Helena: Well not that it matters but no I’m not married
Carole: Do you have boyfriend miss?
Helena: it’s Helena and No I don’t
Carole: Have you ever had a boyfriend miss?
Helena: Well there was someone once ….
Carole: What was he like?
Debbie: yeah what was he like? What was he like?
Helena: Well he was a cat, and he was a sailor … he had this beautiful pea green boat …
Carole: Oh my god you went out with a cat? Aint they tight?
Helena: Oh no we had plenty of money
Carole: What happened?
Helena: Well you know it’s the same old story he wanted Kittens and I couldn’t give them to him he resented me for it and we drifted apart, So I came home and went into teaching
Carole: Aaah miss that’s well tragic
Debbie: Yeah well tragic
Big Burrow: Its 11:21 and Cynthia has been in diary room for three hours and twenty five minutes
Cynthia: An’ so I said to him you what? Know what I mean? Just because he’s a Frog don’t mean he can go tell me what to do, know what I mean?
Big Burrow: ummm and how do you feel?
Cynthia: You what? I use my hands innit I touch things, the skin gets depressed, not like sad depressed but you know down like a button, not down like a clown and these electric messages shoot into me brain and tells me if its hot or cold or hard or soft you know?
Big Burrow: umm what are your emotions about all of this?
Cynthia: well you know sometimes I feel super mad happy and other times not so happy but that frog he just rattles my cage, you know? Not that I could live in a cage I would have to have a vivarium and Rattles my Viv just don’t work does it? Know what I mean?
Big Burrow: Thank you Cynthia, the door is open now and Big Burrow is always hear for you
Cynthia: Youse just kicking me out like man? That’s well mental!
Narrator: People watching is a hobby of mine, it’s a marvelous past time just idly watching the world go by, imagining different scenarios as to how and why people have got to this moment in life.
Big Burrow is like that but without having to leave the house on these cold wet autumnal days.
Until next time children
Take care you
Debbie: take care you!
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