Narrator: Hello children, So far we have met a veritable smorgasbord of delightful animals, but we have only briefly glanced over an important part of the very heart of Happy Green Forest …..
Two Bees both wearing pith helmets are stood on top an Ant hill. They have a group of beetles following them all lugging cases on their backs.
Sir Nathaniel Stinger: (In a posh English accent) well here we are old boy and they said we would never make it!
Charles Beeswax: (in a similarly posh voice) well we still have the decent to face old boy, shall we get on with things? The formalities and pictures and what nots?
Sir Nathaniel: Yes quite, have the beetles unpack and make camp and we’ll get on with things.
Charles: (excited) I’ll get the flag!
Charles dashes off towards the beetles
Sir Nathaniel: (to himself, proudly, admiring the view) So this is how it feels to be on top of the world
Charles and a beetle that is carrying a furled flag and an old fashioned camera with a huge flash bulb walk up to Sir Nathaniel.
Charles: Admiring the view eh old bean? Shall we get on with this then?
Charles takes the flag off the beetle and passes it to Sir Nathaniel
Sir Nathaniel: (unfurls the flag, a union Jack with the head of a queen bee wearing a crown in the middle)(to nobody in particular) for centuries we Bees have strived for greatness and we leave no boundaries unexplored in our pursuit for knowledge and understanding … for knowledge is power! (sticks the flag into the Ant hill) I claim this mountain in the name of our Queen, Her Royal highness Queen Beatrice the fortieth!
The two bees take of their helmets, hold them to their chests and salute with one of their free arms.
Sir Nathaniel and Charles: (singing with great pride and emotion) God save our gracious queen ….
The beetle fires off a shot from the camera capturing the singing bees, the flag and the summit, then scurries off to join the others
An Ant with tribal face paint wearing a loin cloth climbs out of the Any hills opening.
Ant1: (Brummie accent) What’s with all this shouting here then eh?
Sir Nathaniel: Aaah a native! (in a loud slow voice) Hell-o we (pointing at himself and Charles) have dis-cov-er-ed you isn’t that marvelous?
Ant1: Dis-co-ver-ed me? Watch yow mean? I have been here all me life, three weeks man and boy
Sir Nathaniel: (to Charles) would you listen to that! What a marvelous dialect!
(to the Ant) We (pointing again at himself and Charles) are Bees!
Ant1: you don’t say? It’s not like them stripes give you away or anything is it?
Sir Nathaniel: (to Charles) Not a word!
Ant1: Idiot … ‘old on I’ll get me mate he speaks some Bee
The ant scurries back into the mound.
Sir Nathaniel: Did you see that! I think I’ll call it a “Stingers Dog” Next one we see capture it and we’ll take it back for the queen!
Charles: Stingers Dog … marvelous! I’ll get the net!
Charles goes back down the hill to the Beetles who have now set up camp and are all sat around a fire looking bored.
Charles: (excited) what ho old boys, where’s the net? We have only gone and discovered another new breed!
Duncan: (a stag beetle and the head of the group) S’ant
Charles: Pardon? You know I don’t speak Beetle all that good old boy
Duncan: it’s an Ant
Charles: (slowly) The … net (mimes a swishing action) Where …. Is … the …net?
Duncan points to one of the tents Charles dashes off into it and comes out with a huge butterfly net
Charles: thanks awfully old bean
Charles runs back up to the top of the hill.
Duncan: Idiots the pair of them jus’ a shame they pay so well
The other beetles all nod in agreement
Charles arrives back up the hill to see Sir Nathaniel surrounded by ants.
Charles: what the blazes?
Sir Nathaniel: (gleefully oblivious) I think they want me to be their king!
Charles: well tell them you can’t! They have a Queen now!
Sir Nathaniel: (slowly) I … am … ver-y… flat-ter-ed … but … this … is … our … (pointing to himself and charles) … col-o-ny… now
Ant1: an’ i told you this is our colony already so take your flag and do one
Sir Nathaniel: (to Charles) See if you can bag a pair old boy we’ll start a breeding program
Charles: Roger will co
Charles swipes the net over two ants
Charles: Bingo! Say how do we know we have a breeding pair?
Sir Nathaniel: Dear boy, I have observed them closely and they all look exactly the same I have concluded they are asexual. (sighs) You have so much to learn. Now take them back to the beetles and I’ll tidy up here.
(to the ants) Fear …not…your … friends… are safe
Charles heads off back down the hill with the ants in the net over his shoulder
Ant1: Where’s he going with our David and Luke?
Sir Nathaniel: They….will… be ….fam-ous… back…at…our…hive
Ant1: I don’t think so pal (to the other ants) come on lads lets ‘ave ‘em
The ants start to charge towards Sir Nathaniel who with a surprising turn of speed sprints towards the camp
Sir Nathaniel: (catching up with Charles) Change of plan old boy ruuuuuuuuuuuuun
Charles: (turning to see what Sir Nathaniel is running from) Crikey! There’s hundreds of the bleeders!
Suddenly darkness falls over everything and the ants all stop running
Ant1: Behold the sky god is here!
Jesus: Hey dudes, s’nice to see so many of you out for me today
Jesus starts to hoover up the ants and also gets Sir Nathaniel
Sir Nathaniel: Chaaaaaaaaaaaarles!
Charles: Nathaniel!
In a last ditch attempt to survive Sir Nathaniel stings Jesus
Jesus: Ow what are you playing at you silly ants? You knows the rules
Jesus spits out the mouthful of ants and Bee
Charles drops the net and runs over to his friend, scooping him up in his arms
Charles: Nathaniel … Nathaniel …. Speak to me!
Sir Nathaniel: (weakly) I don’t think I’m going to make it home this time old boy
Charles: (close to tears) don’t talk like you’ll make it, you have to! Who’ll present the Stingers dogs?
Sir Nathaniel: I think its time for you to carry the torch for once old bean
Charles: I’m … I’m not ready (looks away sobbing)
Sir Nathaniel: nonsense I have kept you on the sidelines too long old friend it’s … your …. Time … to shine
Sir Nathaniel lets out a deep breathe and dies in his friends arms
Charles: Noooooooooooo
Narrator: Insects are a vital part of every ecosystem children, they pollinate our flowers and vegetables they help the earth keep healthy and stable and they help with decomposition apart from Wasps, Wasps are rubbish
Take care you
Charles: My sister married a Wasp
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